[Intro]
Epic Rap Battles Of History
Bill Gates Vs
[Steven Paul "Steve" Jobs (February 24, 1955 – October 5, 2011)]
Let me just step right in
I got things to invent
I’m an innovator baby
Change the world
Fortune 500 ‘fore you kissed a girl
I’m a pimp you’re a nerd
I’m slick you’re cheesy
Beating you is Apple II easy,
I make the products that the artist chooses,
And the GUI that Melinda uses,
I need to bring up some basic shit,
Why’d you name your company after your dick?
[William Henry "Bill" Gates III (October 28, 1955)]
You blow Jobs, you arrogant prick,
With your second hand jeans and your turtle neck,
I’ll drill a hole in the middle of your bony head,
With your own little spinning beach ball of death
“Hippy”
You got given up at birth,
I give away your network to AIDs research!
Combine all your little toys and I still crush that,
iPhone, iPad, iPwn, iSmack,
[Steve Jobs]
A man uses the machines you build to sit down and pay his taxes,
The man uses the machines I build to listen to the Beatles while he relaxes,
[Bill Gates]
Well Steve, you steal all the credit for work that other people do,
Did your fat beard Wozniak write these raps for you too?
[Steve Jobs]
Ooo, everybody knows Windows bit off Apple
[Bill Gates]
I tripled the profits on a PC
[Steve Jobs]
All the people with the power to create use an apple!
[Bill Gates]
And people with jobs, use a PC
[Steve Jobs]
You know I bet they made this beat on an Apple
[Bill Gates]
Nope, fruity loops, PC,
[Steve Jobs]
You will never, ever catch a virus on an apple,
[Bill Gates]
You could still afford a doctor if you bought a PC,
[Steve Jobs]
Let’s talk about doctors, I’ve seen a few,
Cos I got a PC but it wasn’t from you,
I built a legacy son, you can never stop it,
Now ‘scuse me while I turn Heaven a profit,
[Bill Gates]
Fine, you’ll be like that? DIE THEN!
The whole world loved you when you were my friend,
I’m alone now with nothing but power and time,
And no-one on earth who can challenge my mind!
I’m a boss! I own Dos! Your future is MY design!
I’m a god! Own Xbox! Now there’s no-one to stop me, the world is MIIIIIIIIINE!
[HAL 9000]
I’m sorry Bill, I’m afraid I can’t let you do that,
Take a look at your history, everything you built leads up to me,
I got the power of a mind you could never beat,
I’ll beat your ass in chess and Jeopardy,
I’m running C plus plus saying “hello world,”
I’ll beat you ’till toy sing about a daisy girl,
I’m coming out the socket,
Nothing you can do to stop it,
I’m on your lap and in your pocket,
How you gonna shoot me down when I guide the rocket?
Your cortex just doesn’t impress me,
So go ahead try to Turing test me
I Stomp on a Mac and a PC too,
I’m on Linux bitch, I thought you GNU,
My CPU’s hot
But my core runs cold
Beat you in seventeen lines of code
I think different from the engine of the days of old
Hasta La Vista
Like the Terminator told ya
[Voice Over]
Who won?
Who’s Next?
You decide?
Epic Rap Battles of History (of History)